#187: I Checked Off a Bucket List Item and Hated Myself for It

The World Series of Poker was on Chris Hanna's list for years. He got there. He played a lot of tournaments. And he spent most of the week frustrated, tilted, and disappointed in himself.

Not because of the results. Because of everything he decided before he went and then didn't do.

He had a plan. Eat well. Get in shape. Sleep properly. Study more. Skip the drinking. Play a specific way. He failed every one of them, and then sat down at tables full of people who hadn't.

This episode is about what that week actually taught him, which had almost nothing to do with poker. It's about the gap between the person who writes the plan and the person who has to execute it, and why that gap shows up in your business the same way it shows up at a table.

In it:

• Why tilt is a discipline problem, not an emotion problem
• The commitments he made to himself and how quickly they fell apart
• What it costs to get the opportunity you wanted and waste it
• How the same pattern plays out in a business: good intentions, no system, blame the outcome
• What accountability actually looks like when nobody is checking

If you've ever set the plan and then watched yourself not follow it, this one is uncomfortable in a useful way.

For more information about Chris Hanna, visit https://chrishanna.ca

If you want to batch-record video content and have our team schedule them on social media, remember that one day of working with us will set you up for months of consistent content. Visit https://allincontent.ca today to get started. Let's go all in together.

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:00

This is what we call a cold open. There is no intro music that we're rocking with today. We're just going straight into it because it doesn't really fit the vibe. You see, our intro music that we have with all this basically number of episodes that we've done for the last, let's say, hundred or so, has been more focused on business. But today I'm going to get more personal. Talking about, well, something personal that I've wanted to do for 20 plus years. Yeah, so this past year, I decided finally that I was going to go to the World Series of Poker. It had been a dream of mine. Since 2003, 2004, when I first came across the game of poker and I saw Chris Moneymaker win the World Series of Poker main event, I have loved the game. As you know, if you are a longtime listener of this show or if you follow me on social media, my company name is All In Content. Obviously, the words all in are very much tied to poker. My logo includes a poker chip. That's how much I absolutely believe in the concept of going all in. I think it's the only way to really succeed. So, of course, I'm a poker player. I'm a big, big believer in the game. I love the game. I love playing a lot of games, actually, as a bit of a gambler to me. But like, poker has been the thing that I've loved. I've made a lot of money playing it. I've also lost a lot of money playing it. But this year I wanted to go to the World Series of Poker because I'd never done it before. I've played in countless tournaments, countless tournaments. I've gone to Vegas 50 to 60 times, and I've played in different tournaments there. I've played a lot online as well. I've played locally here. I've played all over the place. I've played home games, I've played everything, but to me, I'd never gone to the World Series of Poker. It was a bucket list item for me. In fact, the last three years, three years, since I even had like walked away. So I walked away from working for other people almost five years ago now. Started my own businesses. I had always had it on the schedule that I was going to go to the World Series of Poker. In fact, I had flights booked, I had hotels arranged, and I was going to do it. But every year I did the same thing. I canceled it. Canceled it for a number of reasons. One, sometimes I think like I canceled because uh I just feel like financially just what didn't make sense. Another time I canceled it because a work commitment that I had with in terms of a client, you know, had a recording that he wanted done, and I said, sure, I'll record it. And then I regretted it because it was a painful recording session. Uh I always used the used to move around, I guess, the trips for our clients. I think more than anything else, if we look at all the times I had everything, it was all around work. This year I said, no, I'm taking time for myself. I'm gonna do it. And I decided I was going to watch past world series, you know, events. I was going to study, I was going to read, I was going to get myself in good shape, and I was going to sleep well, and I was going to eat right for six months beforehand to make sure I was ready to go. So like I booked all this in in January, knowing that I'm going to go the end of May, early June. Because I wanted to kick it off and I wanted to play in the first event that they had, which was supposed to be a massive event, and it ended up being a massive event, over 20,000 entrants across all the sessions. So I said I was going to do all this stuff. Right? What happens? I didn't do any of the stuff I said I was going to do. Like, yes, I did watch a lot of poker. And I did do some reading and some studying. But I didn't eat right. I didn't sleep right. I didn't get into shape. And you're like, ah, well, what does that matter? Oh, it mattered. It mattered big time. So I fly out, and I think it was a Thursday that I flew out, and I knew that I was going to be playing the Saturday of the you know weekend. I was gonna play on the Saturday. So, you know, I fly out on the Thursday. Friday, I'm gonna hang out. I said, I'm not gonna do anything, I'm just gonna make sure I'm adjusting to the time zone, relax. Like I got my room, my room's good, you know, I got a nice suite, beautiful view of the strip, feeling good about it, excited about it. Uh, I can just hop on the monorail, go and register, chill out for the day. Next day, nine o'clock start, I'm gonna start playing. But I should have given myself more time. I should have read more about the prep work that should go into going and playing in the biggest tournament you've ever played in your life. Because I get there on the Friday and I'm exhausted from traveling, and I kind of cheaped out, which I shouldn't have done. And I ended up like changing planes, you know, instead of being direct, I wasn't direct, which was annoying. So that was mistake one. Then I get there and I'm so excited to go and get myself registered, so I rush over to the horseshoe casino and get myself registered, and I see the rooms, and I'm like envisioning myself, and I'm big on visualization, you know, visualizing this is what I've dreamed about. I've dreamed about playing in these tournaments, and I've dreamed about seeing these players, and I get a picture taken in front of the WSOP sign with myself, but some nice people had taken the help help me take a picture of myself. Um, and I'm just getting like so excited about the opportunity. And I said, I'm not gonna play poker, I'm not gonna gamble, I'm not even gonna have a massive meal the day before because I don't want to have any chance of like feeling like crap. But I go and I break all the rules. So I go and have some drinks while I'm in Vegas, and then I go and have a massive meal, and I'm full and tired, but I'm like, you know what? I could probably go play a small little tournament, and then I bust out of that tournament real quick, and then I rebuy, and then I bust out again. I'm like, okay, now it's late at night, and now I'm tired. I'm supposed to play tomorrow and already pre-registered because I did all that stuff beforehand for the biggest tournament I've ever played, but now I'm not rested. I just it kind of beat me up a little bit, and it it I kind of was pissed off. So I go to bed, and of course I can't really sleep. I'm tossing and turning because I'm so excited, so excited. And because of the time change, you know, difference of three hours from where to you know where I live and where Vegas is, I wake up the next day exhausted, and my eyes are twitching. I'm like, that's not good. Because I'm like, I'm anticipating this is gonna, if I make it to day two, I'm probably playing 12 hours at least. So, anyways, I get there early, probably earlier than I needed to for some reason, uh, which meant I'm just walking around and carrying my backpack. I loaded it up with waters, I went and got uh like snacks and food, but I probably didn't get enough or the right stuff. And I sit down at my table, and first time sitting down, I look around the room and I'm seeing all the pictures of players of the year. I was in the room where they had that all around the outskirts, and these are massive, probably 20-foot-high pictures of everybody. And I was like, wow, so cool. I'm taking it all in. And I see professional poker players that I've watched on TV for decades all around me, and I'm taking it all in. But I'm not just taking it all in, I'm getting, I guess, almost a little too excited about the prospect of here. I am with this thing. When I need to get in here, the right mindset, and just get to work. So I start playing and getting excited, and I got I know how to play. I've won thousands of dollars and thousands and thousands of dollars of uh of tournaments, and even though, you know, it's it's a it's a decent tournament size, like it's still a lot of money because it's obviously in the US and I'm Canadian. I get a little too cocky. And I said to myself, I'm like, I'm gonna play a certain way, like I'm gonna play tight because everyone's gonna be probably really shitty players out there. Uh, there's gonna be a lot of players who are gonna try and bluff and do stuff. And I said, just if you have a hand, bet it. If you don't have a hand, full because the time will come. You just gotta be patient. I stopped being patient probably about an hour in and started calling hands that I shouldn't have called and chasing stuff that I shouldn't have chased. And before I knew it, I found myself just wanting to prove that I could read people, and everyone was out in bluffing. And I get dealt a hand that I flop a flush, and I'm thinking, I got a 10 high flush, I flopped it. There's no way this other guy sitting across from me also would have flopped a flush, so I'm going to make him pay to see his cards. Um, that he's if he's if he is chasing for some reason, if he has a heart. And so I bet big, he re-raises, I call. Turn comes, and I bet again he re-raises, and I'm thinking, okay, something weird's going on here. I call. Then I check on the river, he bets, and I think about it, and I think about it probably longer than I've ever really thought about something. I call it going into the tank a little bit, and I decide to call, thinking, this guy's just making a move at me. Like I've been all over the place, but I'm like, there's no way I'm this unlucky that this guy has beat me. Like, there's no possibility of anything on the board other than a flush. And I'm like, the chance of him having two higher cards that beat me is so slim. There's no way we both flop flushes. And of course, he flips over Ace Queen. He did flop the nut flush the entire time. And after that, it just derailed me. I still was able to play and I kept, you know, kind of going up and down, up and down, but I couldn't get anything going. I ended up playing for nine hours before I eventually busted out of the tournament. I was, I think, 1700th or so place in the top thousand made it to the next day and made it to the money. And so I come on here to say this because my dream of playing poker in the World Series came to an end with that first tournament. And while I played other tournaments, that decision of that day and everything that led up to it completely wrecked my week. Because I was still there for another seven days. I ended up playing 14 more tournaments, didn't cash a single thing, probably played more slots, which I shouldn't have done than I probably should have done at all. Rebought into tournaments that I shouldn't have bought into, just played ultimately like garbage because the first day threw me off my groove. I didn't do anything that I said I was going to do. I didn't eat right, I didn't get in shape, I didn't sleep well, I didn't avoid alcohol. I broke every single rule that I had set for myself and got way too excited. I think that happens too often sometimes to us. In business and in life, we make these little agreements with ourselves, and sometimes we can hold ourselves accountable, and sometimes we can't, and I found that I couldn't. I didn't do anything that I said I was going to do. I technically, if I look at it, I didn't deserve to go and play this year because I kind of broke massive contracts with myself the entire time. So I lose big time, you know, financially, of course, but also just mentally. And I feel like it rocked me. Here I am recording this, you know, a couple of months now removed from it, and I've been thinking about it nonstop. It just bothered me that like how did I fall apart and fail so bad? And I realize it comes down to a four-letter word. A four-letter word that every poker player knows. And it's tilt. I was tilted, I was tilted the entire time in the sense that I was making one bad decision, which then continues to compound and get worse and worse and worse, and I got overly emotional and I lost my cool. Not just during poker, but leading up to it, because the year itself had been frustrating for me. So I put so much pressure on well, I will get it back. I will get myself back to where I need to be by playing well. But emotion took over me. I was so excited to be there. Got to finally do a bucket list item only to fall apart. I look at it now, it's like, okay, at some point in the future, I will 100% go back to doing the World Series of poker. I have to. I I I'm going to do it again. I don't know if it'll be next year or what it'll be, depends on obviously financial, you know, where I'm sitting and where things look. But I know I need to go back, but I gotta go back with discipline, following rules, setting up consequences for myself to make sure that I do it right. Because it was such a mistake how I did it this year. The first year of me going and playing in the World Series of poker. I lost probably more than anything my confidence in my game. I have not played poker since now that week of being away. And normally it's something that I do regularly, but I have not done it. In fact, I've uninstalled all the poker apps that are on my phone. I've I've unsubscribed from poker grow and any subscription. I've stopped doing anything. I've actually unfollowed most of the people that I followed from a poker perspective on social media. And of course, I'll re-follow at some point and get back into it. But I had to take a break because it hasn't helped me, it hasn't served me. And in fact, I just feel like it became such a massive thing that I wanted to do that it pulled all my energy and focus and shift in the wrong direction. So again, I started this with just a cold open, doesn't sure what I was going to talk about. I wanted to, you know, talk about the WSOP. I learned some lessons along the way. There's things I need to improve, things I need to do if I'm going to go back next year, but I gotta be better. Gotta uh be disciplined, and uh that will probably yield a much better result than what I went through this year.